Remember when I said I would touch back on resources? When I was going through my emotions, the only resources I had at the time were online Facebook groups, random blog pages, and some Youtube. I was young, so I did not want to fully commit to a in-person support group because I was so afraid of being vulnerable with strangers. I felt it was easier to hide behind a computer where they didn’t really know what I looked like. Even though I was hiding behind a computer, I still had to talk to people online.
The online world is terrifying; everyone is allowed to have an opinion and no matter how hard you want to believe that everything is positive, it is not. Some of the groups I wanted to joined, often had rules like you had to be a spouse or you had to be considered family to join. These groups are usually more official and came off as they only wanted people that were permanently in the service members’ life. So being his girlfriend at the time, the only support groups I was able to join were the milso groups.
Often they were filled with women from the ages 16-30. It was toxic for the most part, girlfriends that have been in the military world for awhile seemed to be less patient and unforgiving to those that were brand new to this lifestyle that had lots of questions. I did not feel a sense of comfort, I often felt judged, but maybe that was cause of the way the Facebook groups were operated. The admins were not strict enough and did not uphold the promise of making it a safe environment for women to be vulnerable about their feelings. So I guess you can say that I haven’t had the greatest luck with online support groups. I know there are good support groups out there, just not enough.
As for other sorts of avenue, Youtube channels like Brit+Con & CaseyHolmesVlogs91 helped me learn more about military life and the terms that the military community often used. I enjoyed watching their videos because it helped me cope with my feelings. There are tons more out there, these are only a few. These people are living it every day, recording their lives; it is very empowering.
As for blogs, there were some, but not many. I would often find myself typing in questions that would always lead me to unanswered questions. When your recruit becomes a Marine, then there are more resources in the communities of where the bases are, which I have yet to experience. Because I’ve been far from my husband, I have not had the experience of meeting lots of military spouses in their respective communities, so I can’t share much about that just yet, maybe in the future!
However, there were amazing people I did come across that gave me much hope about support groups in my every day life. I would like to give a shout out to Criselda & Megan who worked with me at the time; they had members that were in the service. Ironically even though I feared meeting people in person for support groups, they actually turned out to be the ones that helped me the most when I least expected it. Their insights, personal experience, and encouragment showed me that if they could do it, I was more than capable of doing it too. So thank you ladies, during that chapter in my life, you guys meant more than you will ever know. So reach out my friends, you never know what you might find!
If there are any curious readers out there, what questions do you have about this journey so far? For any military spouses out there, what has been your experience when it comes to resources? Please feel free to write one below in the comments!