“Marriage doesn’t guarantee you will be together forever, it’s only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship, and faith in your relationship to make it last.” I dreamt about getting married my whole life and I finally found my soulmate. As young as I was, I almost gave up on the idea of finding the right person. I had this checklist on what I imagined what my future husband would be and instead of the things I wanted, I received someone I needed.
Marriage is hard work, it is definitely not something that people talk about often. It is so romanticized in books and television that most women imagine that this “happily ever after” is what suppose to happen. Don’t get me wrong, the right person in your life with give you the happiness that you deserve, but I also believe that this person will challenge you as well. They are not afraid to sugarcoat things, but is also considerate of your feelings and how they approach you. This is a constant work that has to be consistent over time; you learn to never take it for granted. Often after the wedding phase happens, couples usually get into this slump of not having to try as hard since you are already legally bind to them. This is where it goes wrong; you should always be working towards a better marriage every day. You should constantly work hard to learn more about your spouse, since they are the ones you are in with for the long run.
The truth is, you both will continue to keep growing and changing; it never stops. Careers, lifestyle, finance, children, and real life problems can happen that will be thrown at you to constantly challenge your marriage. I think that’s where honesty and communication play a huge role in marriage and it can get the best of people. So I recommend to always check up on your spouse, you never know what feelings they may be keeping inside that they have been struggling with. The most important thing I think about marriage is showing your appreciation and following through on the things you intend to do. What I love most is the vows we gave to each other, it is so sacred and it is a constant reminder of the promises we made to each other. When life gets hard, I go back to our vows; I remind myself why I am here in the first place and why I made such a commitment to this amazing man.
I believe you’re given chances to always reassure that and that marriage can be rewarding if both of you make it work. Marriage has no bounds and requires unconditional love. We all make mistakes, we are not perfect but I think what makes it powerful is that the person you’re meant to be with will love you through all the imperfections and mistakes you make. Perspective is everything, so don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations when they arise, sometimes you will learn something out of it. I’ve learned to always see every negative experience differently; I acknowledge that yes they were bad experiences, but always saw it as an opportunity to improve and be better. Marriage strips you to your most vulnerable state and those that are worthy will continue to love you even after that. Something that my husband has always said to me that always reinforces our love is this lyric from one of our favorite songs; “You’ll love her till it all goes dark, You’ll love her even after that.” To me, that’s what love and marriage is. Through all the heartache and hardships, to being there during the happiest times; they were there through it all. May the force be with you.