Passion is what led us here.
I wanted to talk about the expectations of everyone else in your life. Off the bat, I’m simply a people pleaser. I spent pretty much my whole life trying to please everyone in every single way possible. I cared deeply about everyone’s opinions whether it’d be a family to the person that hated me the most. I constantly analyzed what went wrong and I was constantly critical of every action that I’ve ever made. I have dreams; but many of these kinds of dreams often meant hard work, pushing past the negativity and criticism, and most importantly having faith in myself. There are many things I want to do, but I was so constantly afraid to do them because of what everyone else would think. My family I would say would be my biggest critic; more often than myself. I believe family always have good intentions, but they don’t necessarily say things in a loving nurture way. They mean well, but they were taught in a society where it’s better to be brutally honest than to sugar coat and give false hope to those they love. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I wear my emotions on my sleeves; some would say it’s often a weakness than a strength. Nonetheless, through it all, I’ve come to learn that I will always receive tough love. I just have to reshape and change it into a positive outlook, instead of always getting so defensive.
I am afraid to do many things, but I was never afraid to just commit to what I believed in the most. I didn’t always have family support to many of the decisions I made, but it seemed every time I followed my heart, I’ve always achieved what I wanted to do. They just didn’t realize how emotionally difficult it was for me. The nights where I cry to bed thinking I’m a constant failure (when I’m not), the many doubts that run through my head as if criticism from others wasn’t enough, and to the never ending of putting many of my dreams on a back burner because of the fear that I would be wrong and prove everyone right. It can be exhausting and mentally draining trying to explain my feelings. I am emotional person and yes I can be logical at times, but my heart has always been emotionally driven. Some of the best decisions in my life were from my emotional driven personality. It was the constant faith that my heart knew I could do the things I wanted to do without the help of others. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of support in my life from my husband and best friends, but I constantly wanted approval from my family as well. I was just always big on never settling in life and to know when to quit when I know I can do better.
The thing is, I’ve come to learn that many of the struggles I have, come from my own insecurities. I have every power to control how I feel and how I take criticism so I can’t always blame others just because they are sharing unwanted opinions. I have to understand that I can choose to take their advice or continue to live the life I want on my own terms. I’m just at that point in my life where I’m done fighting, done pleasing, and to just have faith in myself that I will succeed in what I do. Most importantly, I’m done trying to prove to everyone that I am enough, that I am more than just my career, financial stability and appearance. I am enough for me.
So to those struggling to figure out who you are, know that everyone is constantly trying to find themselves. Shut the negativity away and take criticisms with a grain of salt. It’s okay to be emotional and be a crier, I think it’s more refreshing to be vulnerable and human than to not shed a tear when you are hurting. Silence speaks more than trying to fight back to change a mind that’s already rock solid. Your job is not to fix others and change how others feel, just believe in yourself and prove to yourself that you can do this. Success is defined to what you believe is success, so stop compromising yourself for others.
Thank you for listening 🙂